Reorganizing My Blog

This is just an announcement stating that I'm reorganizing my blog in hopes to return to blogging after about a 4-year absence.

The Changes I've made so far are:

- Change in template & layout

- Reorganized the sidebar

- Added links at the bottom-right to my own music

I hope this will be a fresh start for some fresh material and new ideas.

All that's left is to wish you a good read.

Cheers.

Breaking The Seal

Dedicated to
My Pink Butterfly

Open your eyes
Enough running, enough lies
A crack… A door… Open
Just like that, with a true word spoken

Warmth from the light
I look ahead… Everything’s bright
Flowers… A butterfly floats about
I realize it… I’m free… I’m out

I take my first breath
Let it all in… Feels nice… So fresh
It’s about time to lie down beneath the blue sky
To just relax… Misery… I bid you farewell… Goodbye

I smile to laugh
Awaiting my second half
I’ll see you soon… I see you
Beneath the moon, as I hold you
I whisper slow, as I kiss you
On your eyes, below… How I love you…

If Only I Could

If only I could
Hold you in my arms, I would
You left me, alone I stood

Poor old Little Red Riding Hood
All alone, lost in the woods
In need of a Robin Hood

I need to get you back, I know I should
Our love, nothing felt so good
I need it back; We need it back...

If only I could...
If only we could...
If only… I would...

Multiple Questions

Nothing comes easy.
Anything that does never lasts.

Why do we as humans tend to appreciate the "easy way out", "the free dollar", "the one night stand", "irresponsible behaviour", "escaping duties", etc...
It's weird, isn't it?
A person longs to reach a certain goal, but when it takes a little bit more time or effort than he's willing to give; suddenly the goal starts to vanish, a person starts questioning his motives and reasons behind that objective that he so insistingly was pursuing. Not only does he question it, but also he starts searching for areas of flaws in order to give in some excuses to himself alongside the excuses to others to just quit.

I never was a quitter. Neither am I now going to start.
But the fear of realising that dominant trait in related people that matter to me and relate to my decisions is starting to take over my thaughts.
A lot of "what-ifs" have started to circle my ways of action.
What if I went for what I wanted and then realised that what i wanted has expired from the other side?
What if what I'm positive about and still don't doubt is not only as certain as I think it is but wrong to keep faith in?
What if I work so hard for something and find out later that it was all in vein?
I mean, it's not the first time that I work hard for something that turns nothing but dissapointment.
Just for the sake of not stating the terms "every time" or "always", I will start by saying a lot of times, when I was sure of something and gave my trust away for someone believing in something, I was the one who ended up lonely and miserable and all of a sudden receive a slap to my face that all my beliefs and principles that I based all my actions upon were wrong to start with.

Now here' s my dilemma.
Should I change what I believe in just for the sake of getting along?
Why are my principles so erroneous and why am I so stubborn upon mainting them?
But everyone else lives by their own stick-up beliefs.
Why do I tend to respect and appreciate them for that EVEN when their's a lot which I disagree with?
On the other hand, why am I not treated equally in return?
I mean, I see not much difference in the way I am with other people. I tend to be understanding all the time. I take my time to appreciate others' point of views and love them for it.
I know that sometimes I am harsh and I tend to judge fast and be straight forward and even rude sometimes. But everyone is from time to time. Plus I always end up taking my time to rethink every single detail of events that involved me and other people and I always end up putting myself in the other person's shoes in order to view things trough their eyes. Most importantly I never hesitated once to admit that I was wrong whenever I was and to point the blame upon myself and try to adjust and fix whatever was broken by my actions.
Even if the original blame lied not upon me and all I did was throw in a lit match to a huge burning flame that I haven't started, I always blame myself and I mean it. I always tend to put the responsibility of everything in my life upon my shoulders and I always tend to do the impossible sometimes to just fix things.

Now I get back to the original questions:
Why do I do all that?
Is it worth all that trouble?

I'm starting to doubt. I need some assistance.
In case you have any reason to believe in what I long for, please speak up. For in not long, I will lose faith and I'm afraid it's starting to fade.

Post Of The Month

From now on, I shall add a new feature to my blog.
It will be on the right sidebar, which will feature my "post of the month" for that certain month.
For this month, check out the sign on the right.
Some of you might have read those posts already. For those who haven't, it will give you a chance to notice some of my old posts that reflects somehow upon my state today.
I hope you enjoy this new feature.
Thanks for logging in.

Untitled

I have nothing to say
I really feel like writing
Still,
I have nothing to say

Just before laying my hands down on the keyboard keys,
All those images were circling my head
So many topics
So many thoughts

Where did everything go suddenly?
I have no idea

My neck hurts
My head hurts
My heart breaks

I’m tired
Sad with no tears
No security, filled with fear

That’s how my life is now-a-days
Empty laughter, passing time
Filling spaces, Meaningless words

Glass… Dirty
Shit… Sewers
Toilet… No seat
Tight walls… Thick glass
Vision… Not clear
See Through… Tainted
Light… Oxygen mask
Life… Alive
Love… Dead

Hold me…
Just hold me

End Of A Fairy Tale

One day about sunset, Zhuangzi dozed off and dreamed that he turned into a butterfly.
He flapped his wings and sure enough he was a butterfly...What a joyfull feeling as he fluttered about, he completely forgot that he was Zhuangzi.
Soon though, he realized that that proud butterfly was really Zhuangzi who dreamed he was a butterfly, or was it a butterfly who dreamed he was Zhuangzi!
Maybe Zhuangzi was the butterfly, and maybe the butterfly was Zhungzi? This is what is menat by the "transformation of things."

The dream is over.
I woke up.
No wings. No wind beneath me carying me.
Just the same lame bed that i wake up on every day.

No more Godot to wait for.
Do u imagine sitting underneath the same tree with no aim?
Well, absurdity lies not within an endless search for the unknown.
Absurdity lies within the loss of the unkown within the search.

There in the depth of my journey it awaited me.
The journey had barely begun when it ran me over.
SPLEEN
Learn its true meaning.
Be afraid, frightened.. Petrefied.
Avoid it.

I wasn't able to.
I've failed, my love, my life, myself.

Move over.
Their's a box which missed me amongst its shadows.
Goodnight.

Another Pillow

I'm in bed
An ache in my head
A spear in my heart
Alive but feeling dead

Wish I was a thread
From the pillow on which you shed
A tear cause we're apart
But where u wept know I have bled

My blood, my soul
My God! This hole
In me, my life
Fled me, my wife
2 be, the knife
Cuts deep

So, please, return into these arms
Which need to feed this greed of growing
This seed of love for which I bleed

I bleed
I bleed
Where will this road lead...?

My Empty Pillow

I'm home after work, i'm in bed after working all day, i'm hot in this high temperature, i'm tired cause i was coming and going all afternoon, i'm sleepy cause yesterday i barely slept.. All this is ok.. I can deal & bare with.. How about missing u? Craving u? Wanting u? Needing u? Longing 4 u? I'm tormenting awaiting the moment i c u.. Still i lay here next 2 my empty pillow.. I miss u :'(

I'm in my bed
My pillow is my only friend
I hold it near
And remember you my dear
Longing for your love, for your touch
I'm not asking too much

I see your beautiful face, your smile
I look at my phone
I kiss the screen for a while
Then I realize I’m still alone

Without you, without my heart
You took it with you; you left me an empty part
You left me here hollow
But soon I'll try 2 follow

Be brave my love, I'll try to
Until then,
When I’ll be complete again
Then I'll see you

Miscommunication

I don’t know why I have this talent of putting myself in situations that I hate. I don’t understand how come people, including me, put so much pressure upon you just because of a wrong word that you say unwillingly or a right word misplaced in a certain conversation or even by not saying anything at all when they think you should've.

I’m tired of this world. Lots of rules, lots of restrictions control your every move and your every word.

Sometimes, I just wish to scream in the face of those I’m talking to: “COMMUNICATE! DON’T JUST STAND THERE TALKING!”

I need communication. I lack communication. I need a person to whom my heart speaks directly to hers. I don’t want to have to suffer explanations and irritations because of a word I said. I don’t want to explain myself anymore to anyone. I want someone who sees right trough me. I need someone who can say my words before me speaking them out loud. I want someone who hears, someone who can look into my eyes and see everything I have to say.

I’m tired. I’m so f#@$ing tired. I don’t want to suffer loneliness no more. I want to have a soul mate, a real one. I want to wake up from this intolerable nightmare where I’m running as fast as I can to a door not five steps away but can’t reach it.

Can you be that? Like can you really be that for me? For you? For us?

Cause I’m feeling lonely, not alone, LONELY!! Deep down inside, I feel so alone, surrounded by nothing but darkness and shades in a box. I cry out but nobody hears my cries. People pass me by, and even whoever hears doesn’t listen and whoever listens is trapped in one’s own box.

I need my freedom. I don’t want to be independent no more. I want to depend on your every breath to guide my every breath. I’m in need, and I’m tired of being in need. I don’t care what you think of me now that I said what I said. I’m in need of you. Yes!! IN NEED!! I’m weak and I know it and I don’t care if you know it too. Actually, I need to let you know that I’m in need of you.

I’m in need to let you know, know me, every bit of me. But what hurts me the most is that I still lack above all communication skills. Miscommunication just intercepts the image I’m trying to make you see.

Miscommunication is blinding you, but it’s killing me.

Landing in London

Performed by: 3 Doors Down

I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was Monday
When maybe I’d be back around
If this keeps me away much longer
I don’t know what I will do
You got to understand it’s a hard life,
that I’m going through

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you

L.A. is getting kind of crazy
And New York is getting kind of cold
I keep my head from getting lazy
I just can’t wait to get back home

And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all too much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you

And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all too much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way

Cuz all I think about is you

A Quote From The Heart

"Love is the most powerful tool in the world,
Love is the door you walk trough to a happy life
It guards your home, your heart, and your being
For God Himself is love and peaceful adoration
Keep your heart pure, your love sure
And you'll always have your life protected by a sealed love
Where your house becomes your kingdom
And you become ruler to your own kings and queens"

A Trip Down Memory Lane

I found these old papers amongst my old stock..
I wrote these between the ages of 17 and 18 and taught of posting them..
Hope you can see them trough my eyes.. The eyes of the 17-18 year old dreamer facing the real world freshly..
Like really facing it.

Kingdom Come

Performed By: Coldplay

Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years
For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
And I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait till kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
Say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

We Get Hurt (Benengereh)

Performed By: Mohammad Mounir

We get hurt
Everyday however,
However, it cheers us up
That you’re within our heart
Living,
Living amongst our joys
(Repeat x2)

You are the hope that lies in our eyes
And the ecstasy within our madness
(Repeat x2)
But sometimes you become like all others
You go on and hurt us
However you’re the only one amongst them
Who can relieve us (of our pain)
Who can relieve us (of our pain)

Unexplainable

A current state
of mind..






I can’t understand this world
I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s simply life’s irony
You dream, you wish
You win to fail
You gain to lose
You fight, you struggle,
You die

I lived to love
I loved to live
Love taught me to hate
Life taught me too late
I fall in love only to be apart
From my love, from my wish,
From my hope, from my life

I love, I leave
I enjoy only to grieve
Later, now
Tomorrow, today, yesterday
What’s the difference
Time goes by and I find myself all alone again

Hey you,
Yes you!
Inside, away
I’m here, lonely I lay
For you to leave, for me to stay
I long to play
For my childhood I pray

Get me back to that night
Take me again
Love me, rape me
Kill me, thrill me
Don’t leave me

I don’t need this!
But who am I kidding, I do
I need you
My torment is my pleasure
My pain is my joy
Isn’t that just selfish to deploy
A bomb. Explode
A rainbow, a ray of light

I guess it’s just plain to see
When there’s light, there’s fire
So be my sun,
I’m tired
Light me, burn me
Just stay…

The Professor

Performed by: Damien Rice


Well I don't know if I'm wrong
Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by excellent breed of gamete disease
I'm sure when I'm older I'll know what that means
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Here's to the man with his face in the mud
And an overcast play just taken away
From the lover's in love at the centre of stage yeah
Loving is fine if you have plenty of time
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind
Loving is good if your dick's made of wood
And the dick left inside only half understood her
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away yeah
What makes him stall, what makes him stand
And what shakes the elephant now
And what makes a man?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know you any more
No, no, no, no...

I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause shes only just gone
Why the fuck is this day taking so long
I was a lover of time and once she was mine
I was a lover indeed, I was covered in weed
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Well closer to god is the one who's in love
And I walk away cause I can
Too many options may kill a man
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind
But I've fucked it up now, too many times
Loving is good if it's not understood
Yeah, but I'm the professor
And feel that I should know
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away and
What makes him tick apart from him prick
And the lonelier side of the jealousy stick
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
No I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Hell I don't know you any more
No, no, no no...

Well I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause she's only just gone
Here's to another relationship
Bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease
I finished it off with some French wine and cheese

La fille danse
Quand elle joue avec moi
Et je pense que je l'aime des fois
Le silence, n'ose pas dis-donc
Quand on est ensemble
Mettre les mots
Sur la petite dodo

Song Download Guide

For all songs uploaded on:
www.content-type.com
You can download them by following the following steps:
1) Press the link on my blog which will get you to the special web-page for downloading the selected song.
2) On the web-page, press the following link: Wait in Line & Download
3) Wait a while and when: Download Ready appears in its location, press it and your download shall begin.
Enjoy the songs..

Songbird

Performed by: Oasis

Talking to the songbird yesterday
Flew me to a past not far away
She’s a little pirate in my mind
Singing songs of love to pass the time

Gonna write a song so she can see
Give her all the love she gives to me
Talk of better days that have yet to come
Never felt this love from anyone

She’s not anyone

A man can never dream these kinds of things
Especially when she came and spread her wings
Whispered in my ear the things I’d like
Then she flew away into the night

Gonna write a song so she can see
Give her all the love she gives to me
Talk of better days that have yet to come
Never felt this love from anyone

She’s not anyone

Da Fwogg At Work

That's how I look like at work..
Well..
Most of the time at least :)